yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
