i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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