Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
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