I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
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