So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
