u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Randomize
