i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize