I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Randomize
