I need help removing her.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Randomize
