she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
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