thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Randomize