im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
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