Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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