People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize
