How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
You did what with his pubic hair?
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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