Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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