Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
