I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
