Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
