I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
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