You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
