I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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