I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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