Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
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