so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
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