TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
