She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
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