I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
