Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
