i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
