Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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