I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
