dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Randomize
