Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
