Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
