yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
