Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Randomize