CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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