So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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