sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
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