I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
