Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Randomize
