The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
