there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize