I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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