Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
