it hurts more in the daytime
I haven't been this sober since birth.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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