Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
