Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
