you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
