My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Randomize
