So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
