Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
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