Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
