My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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