I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
