Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
You're like the curious george of whores
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Randomize
