Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
