3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
is it fun? or sober?
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
