look no pants
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
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