I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
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