lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize