I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Swine flu is the new snow day.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
