Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
